We
assembled the stretcher with only mild complaint; I think Garron and
I were a bit out of our element and uncharacteristically willing to
follow the stranger’s lead. He appeared occupied with the chief,
the princess watching, so I took the opportunity to confer with
Garron.
'Garron, who is that guy? You called him ‘Doctor’, like that bloke on Ribos.'
'Garron, who is that guy? You called him ‘Doctor’, like that bloke on Ribos.'
Garron squinted sideways and studied the man.
'I don’t know how, but it is him. We had a few minutes to talk, floating around up there. He said he’d regenerated, whatever that means.'
'Must be a new custom body process,' I said. It was perfectly feasible. 'So, was he following us?'
'Complete denial. Just a coincidence, he said. He was after that glowing cube.'
'Oh.'
We laid out the parachute and folded it over. Garron, the need for secrecy passed, snapped his fingers and a perfectly round shimmer appeared an inch from his chest. He performed a complicated hand gesture and quickly reached inside. It was hard to look at. When his hand emerged he held a pocket knife. Another finger snap and the portal –that’s what it was –shrunk to a point and vanished with the faintest of sparks. He began to saw the cords, ignoring my glare.
'You could have told me. I’ve suspected for years, but you could have told me.'
He frowned. 'That would make you an accomplice. Do you know the penalty for having a tesseract?'
'Of course. I know the penalty for almost every crime there is.'
'You always were a pessimist. Go grab that pole, will you?'
I went to the pole, which stuck straight out of the soft ground, and Garron said, 'I’m glad to see you’re okay, Unstoffe.'
I said, 'Me too, Garron,' and pulled the pole from the earth. Its savagely beautiful tip gleamed through the dirt.
It sang.
'Garron! This is the Singing Spear of Sven Venison! From the ship!'
'What?'said Garron. 'That means more of my treasures may be around! Keep your eyes peeled, boy.' He began peering around. A thought struck him and he cringed and looked up.
'I wouldn’t worry,'said the Doctor, his screwdriver trilling, 'it’s all over now save the singing. Speaking of which…'
He adjusted the driver and examined the merrily humming spear. He scowled and made another adjustment. No result.
'Excuse me,' said Shawneequa, 'but if that’s what I think it is, it won’t stop singing until it makes a kill.'
'That’s hardly scientific!' the Doctor snapped.
'Well,'said Garron, 'Let’s just kill two birds with one stone, shall we?' and looked meaningfully at the chief.
'Certainly not!' said the Doctor. 'That would be murder!'
'Says the man who was prepared to abandon two dear old friends to the mercy of killer robots,' said Garron.
'Nonsense. I was just having fun with you. I was on my way to rescue you when we got caught in the warp. Dangerous thing, an unshielded warp drive fusing with an admittedly wonky dimensional stabilizer and…'–he glared meaningfully at Garron –'…a leaky tesseract. Certainly took the TARDIS by surprise.'He paused for a moment. 'Still, no harm done, eh? We’re safe and sound on this planet’s surface and if my readings are correct there are some items from the ship just over there. Now, let’s see where the TARDIS landed and we’ll get out of here.'
He pointed the device towards the plains, the jungle, the plateau. 'Nothing.' He pointed it straight down. 'You never know.' Frowning, he pointed it straight up to the blue sky and I heard the pitch change. Garron, the princess and I exchanged looks while he stood there, his arm moving in a slow arc horribly suggestive of an orbit.
'Well...that’s certainly cast things in a new light,' he said. 'Damn.'
And that’s when the mutter of drums began drifting from the jungle.
'The next hour was extremely hectic, full of drama, incident and humour. I’m going to skip it, if you fellows don’t mind. If I keep rambling on you’ll have to break for a recharge. Speaking of which, is there food? The three of us haven’t properly eaten in days.'
'Your comfort is our command! A menu will be delivered forthwith!'
'Oh, thank you! That’s uncommonly decent of you.'
'Not at all. Now, did you say, drums?'
I sure did. Scary ones, too. An hour later found us running along the stream toward the plateau I’d spotted. Well, I say running, but walking at an accelerated pace is more like it. The princess and the Doctor shared the front of the chief’s stretcher while I held the rear. Garron puffed behind us, a bit theatrically, I thought. The chief reclined in comfort, murdering me through slitted eyes.
Thanks to the Doctor’s sonic, we were free of mud and feeling refreshed. My skin still tingled. The other items from the ship proved to be the scattered contents of the princess’s trunk. She was now outfitted in stylish jungle explorer gear (my valiant offer to stand watch while she changed was refused). I must say, the jodhpurs were flattering from where I stood. Between the agreeable view and the spear’s jaunty march I found myself having a strangely enjoyable experience. The only clouds in my mind derived from the Doctor and princess’s instant rapport and the chief’s reluctant admittance that the drums were those of his tribe’s bitter, savage enemies and not, as we’d supposed, those of his people. Who, I may as well tell you, don’t appear again.
Why were we running toward the plateau? Well, we ran because we were being chased, though we hadn’t caught more than fleeting glimpses of our pursuers. We ran to the highlands because the Doctor had had an idea. He’d made a few more scans with the ‘driver and appeared puzzled. He dropped a rock. Hopped in place. Studied the sun. Then he threw himself flat with an ear to the ground and listened. When he stood, he had open admiration on his face.
'We have to get that plateau,' he said, 'if I’m right about where we are,and I am, that’s our only hope.'
The chief spoke from the stretcher. 'Many who brave the walls of the world do not return. Those who do are mad. Please do not take me there.'
The Doctor knelt. 'Sorry, chief. You’re our bit of insurance. I assure you we will allow you to come to no harm.'
'You will keep the fat one away from me?'
'Sure.'
'And allow me to regain my honour by defeating the large-eared one in battle? He meant me, by the way.
'Eh, probably not, but we’ll see. May I ask you a question?'
'You may ask,' I said, and the chief frowned.
'Hmmph! Ask your question.'
'What do you call your world? What’s its name?'
The chief’s answer was stunning.
~~~
The universe is full of ghost stories. Most are just nonsense, spacer’s yarns meant to while away the grind of a long haul. Everyone’s heard of scratches on the hull, lights that follow, dead crewmen peering in ports, that sort of thing. But some have real substance, a weight to them that’s pretty much convinced all but the most sceptical. There’s a spectral saucer fleet that appears in the Medusa Cascade. There’s a 1,000 year-old Earth automobile with an eccentric but friendly crew that’s been seen for, well, 1,000 years. Even Garron claimed his old cottage in Hackney Wick had a phantom, an old resistance fighter from the Dalek invasion. But the most mysterious, most feared space ghost wasn’t a ship, a person or a monster –it was a planet. A black, featureless sphere, this world was said to leave a trail of madness wherever it appeared. None who landed on it returned. The most awe-inspiring thing about it, though, was its age. This world, the greatest ghost of all time, was said to have appeared not for decades or centuries. No, the planet Rallax and its eldritch reputation had haunted the space lanes for millionsof years.
'Are we really on Rallax, Doctor?' I asked later, '’cause Rallax is supposed to be black and featureless. This is a jungle. Well, down there it was.'
We’d reached the foothills of the plateau. The stream now raced cold and clear as it sought the low lands. The vegetation was thinner, the trees turning to evergreens. We cast long shadows as the sun set behind us. Above us, the sky darkened and tiny points of light appeared.
The Doctor slowed to a stop. He scanned our path and appeared satisfied.
'We can rest for a minute,' he said. 'We can see them coming from here. Now, Unstoffe, I really don’t want to say what I’m thinking. I doubt you’d believe me. It’s better if I just show you, alright?'
'Now you sound like Garron. You’ll tell us when we need to know.'
Garron was studying the emerging stars with an unreadable expression. 'Doctor?' he said. 'Have you ever been to Earth?'
'Earth’s my second home. And I know what you’re seeing so don’t mention it.'
'It’s deuced odd.'
'Yes.'
They trailed into silence, watching the sky. The princess and I exchanged shrugs.
As Garron had had the foresight to truss him securely, the chief had given us no trouble. He’d maintained a stony silence through our flight, though I spotted him tapping his fingers in time to the spear’s music. But he spoke now and I’m glad he did.
'I hate to interrupt your astronomical studies, gentlemen, but I assume you’d be interested to know that a tribe of human savages is creeping up the hillside?'
We grabbed him and ran. The primitive humans let up a cry and pursued.
'Thanks!' I panted, and he replied, 'I have no concern for your lives, however if I am to survive I require at least two of you to bear me.'
'Unstoffe, stop talking to the Dragon and run, will you?' said Garron.
He didn’t need to tell me twice. About running, I mean. These savage humans had bows. I heard a sound I’d wished to never hear again –the plink! of arrows hitting rocks. Well, actually plink! is good; that means one less arrow in me. It’s the meaty thud! I didn’t want to hear.
We raced up a narrow, steep path. The chief stoically bore the forceful shaking. The spear was now singing a dramatic choral piece. Garron huffed alarmingly as he passed us, belly jiggling and legs working like pistons, and blended into the murky darkness above. The Doctor and the princess ran like automatons, showing no sign of weariness. I was developing a painful stitch in my side and felt a slight tug on the stretcher as they began to outpace me. We ran, and a howling horde followed.
The path levelled and turned to follow the cliff face. The front-of-stretcher crew put on a burst of speed. 'Wait!' I said, but they didn’t. The stretcher was pulled from my hands. It bounced and dragged on the gravel but to their credit the others didn’t let go. I caught up, wheezing, and bent to grab the poles when an arrow cleanly parted my hair and I heard a distant cry of disappointment. Then they began to fly amongst us in earnest. Plink! Plink! Plink!
The Doctor turned, wide-eyed. 'Grab the stretcher, Unstoffe! Now!' I did, unable to resist the command, and we fairly sailed along the path. I was waiting with abject dread for the next arrow to plunge into my back, feeling immanent death piling up like an oncoming wave in a storm. But it didn’t come. I risked a look back as the sun finally slipped below the horizon and night fell. The path was empty and quiet. I looked down at the chief, who of course had been anxiously peeking around me the entire time. He settled back, relaxed.
'Doctor, I think they’re gone,' I said.
'Of course,' said the chief. 'This place is taboo for all inhabitants of Rallax.'
'None return” remember?' I added.
'Do you intend to?' asked the Doctor. 'This is just the place we want to be, then!'
We jogged on at a thankfully slower pace and a bright moon crept out from behind the cliff top and lit our path. The Doctor studied the moon and nodded as if a suspicion had been confirmed. The princess stared.
'Doctor,' she said, 'my ancestors came from Earth. I’ve studied their history...'
'Yes, yes.'
'Then that means...'
'Yes.'
'Amazing! Rallax is a…'
I didn’t get to hear what Rallax was because just then Garron shouted from above.
'Doctor! This is amazing! You must come see this!'
I was getting heartily sick from being excluded from all the shared amazement, let me tell you. I’m always the last to find out anything. So it’s absolutely typical that at that moment I heard a thin whistle and something smacked the lump where the chief clobbered me and for one of the few times in my poor beleaguered existence I fell unconscious.
Wild shadows cast by flickering flame danced across the cliff face while capering figures ululated and shrieked. Drums beat a frenzied tattoo that pounded into my leaden muscles and splitting skull. Then I blacked out again.
Garron was speaking from far, far away. I blinked my eyes and my vision returned. I was lying discarded at the foot of the cliff. The fire was now red embers. In the moonlight I could spy the distant tree tops far below. From the moon’s position I deduced a couple hours had passed. The tribesmen were sitting in an attentive array facing four posts set along the edge of a circular area.
Garron was lashed to the post on the far left, the others lined up to his right –the chief, the princess, the Doctor. They’d been in a scrap, that’s for sure. As I said, Garron was speaking. He was using his teacher voice, accompanied by the singing spear, and the tribe was entranced. I wished I could see their faces.
'...and, as I’ve said, ’tis a magic land we hail from! A land without beasts who devour the hunter! A land without brambles to catch on the skin! A land of plenty, of safety, of many buxom maidens like the one you see here!' The princess, who honestly isn’t particularly buxom or, I suspect, the other thing, glared at him.